Thoughts On A Monday Morning

The other day after witnessing two car accidents in the span of an hour which resulted in me muttering “please don’t hit me, please don’t hit me” to the car behind me at every traffic light, and I knew that it was one of those days where I really should NOT have left the house. That is what Mondays usually consist of, so I figured that I would put together some thoughts for you to think so that you don’t have to bother to think them yourself. So kind of me, right?

  1. Thin Mints are a perfectly acceptable breakfast, right? And maybe just a bite of a Samoa to balance out the palette. Or, you know, the whole box of Samoas…
  2. We are out of Earl Grey tea? I might as well just jump off a building.
  3. Is someone really trying to communicate with me at this hour of the day?
  4. Maybe if I just nod along and hide my face behind this Thin Mint, they won’t notice I’m here.
  5. Nodding is not working… Okay, DEATH GLARE.
  6. You know… attempting winged eyeliner was probably not the best decision I’ve ever made.
  7. I mean of COURSE I forgot to do laundry this weekend. It’s okay though, leggings are totally pants.
  8. Traffic… WHY IS THERE TRAFFIC.
  9. Oh no, I spilled my tea all over me. DANG IT.
  10. Literally how does Taylor Swift have so much energy at this hour of the day? HOW.
  11. “YOU GOT THAT JAMES DEAN DAY DREAM LOOK IN YOUR EYEEEEEEE”
  12. *Continues to stare at traffic*
  13. “AND I GOT THAT RED LIP CLASSIC THING THAT YOU LIIIIIIIIKKKKEEEEEEE”
  14.  “OUT! OF! STYLE!”
  15. *Continues to stare at traffic*
  16. Wait, but like, why did I leave the house today?

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